WCS feelings

Okay. I shouldn't care. And it's over now. But I still have some things that is just lingering on my heart, lying in my head, that just have to be written, that is outside my "WCS report" and somewhat more personal.. What ever... I regret later..

- I have no idea how I made it to the WCS, I didn't feel worthy, but it doesn't mean I didn't appreciate it! It was an amazing experience, and I'm so happy to have met all the people there.. Thanks!

- No, my costumes are not perfect, no I don't see them as perfect at all, I have a lot to learn. I practice. I've been making costumes for barely 2 years, and in all 8 costumes - and that's the only things I ever sew, I don't have time or money for lessons. So bare with me.

- The missing props on the stage what ever, was at first a matter of economy. It would be nice to make some atmosphere thingies on the stage, but it would just be impossible for my sister and I to make it and bring it to Japan. I go to school that takes 85% of my day, I don't have time for a job = I honestly have no money, other that the money my mom can help me with, until I get the SU which is a help for people who study in Denmark. Where the heck would we get money to the costumes and super awesome big props? O.O

- To have the WCS in mind, was an extremely stressing thing to have for almost half a year. I had started a new school, I had started a musical, and lots of new things just happened. But I couldn't/wasn't aloud to go really into anything of it. And then suddenly some people felt like I let them down, or that I was just a stressing bitch that forgot everything and just fooled around.
It was an amazing experience, but when the Championship was over, my mind and body released all the stress, that had made me sleep bad at nights, make my body shake, and heart pounding for half a year - gone. It made me cry in Japan on the same evening, it was so many feelings and releasing of them that just fell down.

One of our judges at J-popcon 2009, named Skye, asked my sister and I, that if we won, would we be prepared? It was a hard question, but god I have no idea if it haven't been there.. Now even when it's over, I'm still not sure if I was prepared..?  When there's spoken of talent in cosplaying, and personal mental development, I would probably say no, not at all. But it was so tempting, and so excitement. I felt it as a challenge, that I had to get through, whatever it would cost. And I'm glad that we got the opportunity to participate...

No way to end this post..