20101121

I lost my singing teacher.
I lost my little sister.
I lost my wings and my freedom.
I lost my shrink.
I lost my little brother.
I lost my best friend and warmth.
I lost my listeners.
I lost my comforter.
I lost my happy pill.
I lost my daily strength.
I lost my motivation….

I’m so tired of that every time I feel something works or it go well – something else is taken from me.
It is every single time…And I'm sick of it. I feel like giving up on chasing the happiness and just be an expressionless puppet in this stupid game. Maybe it all will work much better, if you just stop thinking it all through but just let it happen. I'm just against it. I want it to work, but are somewhat just not meant to.