Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Library Addiction

The last 3 weeks I think, I've been so no happy about waiting for the bus.. I don't know why. Busses just doesn't like me at the moment. I run after them, and the just drive by, I go off the train and there's like 20-40min before the next comes, because the previously just drove as I arrived...

Well! My point is, when I wait in a main city on my way home from school (where I only need a bus next to get home) I just don't wanna wait. XD They got a library, and I just go there..

The problem is - I can't walk into a library without finding something I find interesting and wanna take home to look closer to it. XD

This is how my floor looks like now:

And that's just the books I know where are right now. XD
Then I got 3 fat books with piano notes, and some CD's lying at my table.

The funny thing is. I can't even read properly! I'll never get through it!
My vision have failed me the past year, I got some reading glasses now, but after using them over a month I still feel like I have problems. Big problems actually. XP I can't focus on the text, damn stupid. Got wrong help, and used lots of money on glasses. . . Have to find out whats wrong. I love to read. But well. Now I found so many good books, I hope I can force myself through them, though it's hard.

Sunday, August 29, 2010


Random little update..
But I sooo miss Japans Meron Pan.. ._.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

A story

I never had a plant in my room for over a month...
I have a lot of things on my mind, and forget to water it in a couple of days.
When I finally get reminded of it, because I miss the plant so much - it's always too late. 

I'm just not able to keep life in a plant if it needs everyday care...
One day I got a cactus. It didn't need to get watered everyday. And everytime I looked at it, it would look the same, though it had been days - weeks.. Months...
I really want a normal plant. But right now I'm just not able to live up to the talent in keeping them alive...

So please...
Be a cactus for me until I've learned how to take care of plants...


"I need solid ground under my feet..."

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Fail at planning

I don't know why. But I simply don't have the ability to plan anything at all. I'm getting crazy when people get "mad" that I can't figure out my own time. I might understand it somewhat, but is it wrong? I honestly hate arrangements... I don't know if I get easily stressed, or just insecure when I can't be lord over my own time. It's so wrong and so weird. It's normal to say: "Okay see you on Monday at 15 o'clock, yes?" I just can't. What if I'll get unable to go? There's so many who constantly ask when, when, when? 
When I get in a period like that, I just cut off, and often don't answer anything. Is that wrong? Maybe yes, but that's just how it is. 

I'll work on it...    Sorry..

A blog about a blog

I came randomly past a blog yesterday while searching for some html help. It was a blog about how to have a blog. That's common, there's lots of those sites, I thought it was fun an looked it through..

I just figured that I do lots of "wrong" things to maintain a blog, how to keep it etc.
It was fun. XD Because of course it said how to get views, how to be interesting and how to get comments. And as a big point: keep one focus. I understand that if it's a blog about something special, but if people use a blog as a "personal space" to share some knowledge or experiences with others, then I don't see why it could be about various things. XD

I failed at blogging. But I like to do it anyway. XD

Sunday, August 22, 2010


Insane piano motivation

Today when I was searching youtube for some songs, I fell over this artist again. I once heard some of it and downloaded on the page where he uploaded good quality of his songs. But today, when I found his channel again, I used over 2 hours just browsing his amazing library of piano covers he had made. And I sure downloaded them in good quality as well, and they are now (35 songs for now) on repeat.. It makes me relax so much, the emotion he puts into the piano playing is amazing.

I wish I could learn to play like him, it's insane.. :)

WCS feelings

Okay. I shouldn't care. And it's over now. But I still have some things that is just lingering on my heart, lying in my head, that just have to be written, that is outside my "WCS report" and somewhat more personal.. What ever... I regret later..

- I have no idea how I made it to the WCS, I didn't feel worthy, but it doesn't mean I didn't appreciate it! It was an amazing experience, and I'm so happy to have met all the people there.. Thanks!

- No, my costumes are not perfect, no I don't see them as perfect at all, I have a lot to learn. I practice. I've been making costumes for barely 2 years, and in all 8 costumes - and that's the only things I ever sew, I don't have time or money for lessons. So bare with me.

- The missing props on the stage what ever, was at first a matter of economy. It would be nice to make some atmosphere thingies on the stage, but it would just be impossible for my sister and I to make it and bring it to Japan. I go to school that takes 85% of my day, I don't have time for a job = I honestly have no money, other that the money my mom can help me with, until I get the SU which is a help for people who study in Denmark. Where the heck would we get money to the costumes and super awesome big props? O.O

- To have the WCS in mind, was an extremely stressing thing to have for almost half a year. I had started a new school, I had started a musical, and lots of new things just happened. But I couldn't/wasn't aloud to go really into anything of it. And then suddenly some people felt like I let them down, or that I was just a stressing bitch that forgot everything and just fooled around.
It was an amazing experience, but when the Championship was over, my mind and body released all the stress, that had made me sleep bad at nights, make my body shake, and heart pounding for half a year - gone. It made me cry in Japan on the same evening, it was so many feelings and releasing of them that just fell down.

One of our judges at J-popcon 2009, named Skye, asked my sister and I, that if we won, would we be prepared? It was a hard question, but god I have no idea if it haven't been there.. Now even when it's over, I'm still not sure if I was prepared..?  When there's spoken of talent in cosplaying, and personal mental development, I would probably say no, not at all. But it was so tempting, and so excitement. I felt it as a challenge, that I had to get through, whatever it would cost. And I'm glad that we got the opportunity to participate...

No way to end this post..

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

World Cosplay Summit 2010